Learn from the pros

“Does XR have a boyfriend?” I asked Wei Xiong yesterday afternoon during lunch.

“No.”

There was a pause while we took some time to absorb the shock of such a confident, certain and quick response. “HOW DO YOU KNOW?” I asked when I recovered from the pause.

“Uh, I don’t think so?” he hurriedly tried to rectify the situation. We stared suspiciously at him. “Not that I know of?”

The damage was done. There is no way the conversation was going to end without a truthful confession tortured out of him.

What followed was a brief peek at Wei Xiong’s oh-so-powerful stalking skills, heard but unseen at this point of time. We have known for ages that Wei Xiong is a stealthy stalker whose skills belong in the legendary leagues, and we only know this because he has confessed that to us. True stalkers do not get found out, ladies and gentlemen. The only way you know that they are stalkers is through confession. Even then, no matter how hard you stare at them, you will never catch them in the act. This is what we call the Grandmaster Stalker. Learn from the pros, kids. Nub stalkers become creeps. Pro stalkers are actually ninjas applying their skills.

Anyway, the secret to this particular source of knowledge is, drumroll, “I asked her friends before I even talked to her.”

Now you know how extensive Wei Xiong’s knowledge is, and how quick he gets it. We tried to squeeze more information out of him with regards to CS2020 people. “Who in CS2020,” I asked, “besides Zi Chun and Desmond, are attached?” “Nobody,” he said, but this time he was more unsure. “Well I only keep track of important people.” The important people being presumably girls. Unless of course his stalker skills are so 1337 that he hides his preference for boys.

If anyone can prove him wrong, do stand out and tell us now so that we know that Wei Xiong’s stalker skills are not infallible.

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