Eat me

From here on things will be quite fictional; am going to use this blog for its original intended purpose– a bouncing pad for narration, based on real life characters or events but not exactly them. I’m going to play a game with my own blog: plonk a person into a scenario, and see where my writing takes the person. Short sketches, almost entirely imaginative with hints of resemblance to certain people perhaps. Not meant to offend but if you find yourself prickling come tell me why. Some names might be changed sometimes.

“Eat me”, the cake said. Just like in Alice in Wonderland.

Kevy is the first to pop it in her mouth, being one who actually believes in the 3-second rule instead of the 0-second one. She munches. The rest of us watch her in anticipation.

“Do you feel strange? Any part of you expanding? Contracting? Flying? Do you feel like doing somersaults?” I ask eagerly.

“ARE YOUR BOOBSIES EXPANDING” Ratata asks a very important question.

All of us immediately stare at her chest. Lalalim tries pinching it but kevy evades it smartly. Nothing seems to be going on at that department.

“Her feet! Look at her feet!”

Sure enough, her feet were puffing up from her soles at an exponential rate that stopped at her ankles, giving her feet the look of bonsai trees. Very soon they were half her size each.

“If you do a ballerina toe-pointing thing with your feet pointing at opposite directions you can be an equilateral triangle!” I observe helpfully.

“TRY STOMPING AND SAYING MUAHAHAHA” Yet another one of ratata’s suggestions.

Kevy lifts one foot up. She sends it crashing down. Suddenly all of us find ourselves propelled five feet in the air from some mysterious upward force. Like you know, Newton’s law of equal and opposite forces.

“DO THAT AGAIN DO THAT AGAIN” we shriek. “WITH THE LAUGH!” ratata adds.

The second time we find ourselves in the air the sky turns dark and rumbles. “Is it going to rain?” zhihuahua worries. There was something peculiar about the deep slam of the sky though, almost as though it sounded like…

Magnified some hundreds of times, of course. We turn our heads sharply to the side to look at kevy. “Do that laugh again,” I order. She opens her mouth. The sky turns dark again. “Slowly,” I add. The sky rumbled like a slow-mo beatboxing machine.

“KEVY YOU’RE LIKE THE COOLEST THING EVER!!” lalalim gushes. Ratata finds another use for these newly gained skills: “NOW YOU CAN SCARE LITTLE BABIES. AND DWARFS.” Kevy finds a more practical use: “And I can totally guard the goalpost!”

“If you stomp the ground enough times, we can totally try flying,” I theorize. We all brace ourselves in what we imagine as a take-off position. “A one, a two, a one two three gooooo” and there we go, flapping our arms like featherless chickens and bouncing off in different parabolas like pebbles skipping across the pond. Or popcorn.

Suddenly a giant fills our vision. He seems to be stamping his feet at exactly the same rhythm as kevy. Kevy stops. The giant doesn’t. We continue bouncing.

“Uh oh,” I squeak.

“PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN IS GOING TO SHOW ALREADY WILL YOU HURRY WITH THE POPCORN” A booming voice almost deprives us of all our hearing.

We find ourselves suddenly squashed in a little box…


One comment

  1. Kevy · May 20, 2011


    lmao zhixin this is too cute!!

    i like this line the best: I CAN GUARD THE GOALPOST (Y)

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