I thought it was time to do an introduction to where I’m studying, namely, the Entertainment Technology Center, or ETC for short. I know you all are very interested in what we do here, blah blah, and well we make games which is pretty cool and everything, but I know what you’re more interested in — how do you get to this wonderful magical place??
ETC is supposedly part of CMU, so some of you might scoff at that question. “Just find CMU!” you say. That is where you are gravely wrong.
First, some context. Pittsburgh is a respectable city. Having been here four months, I can safely say that. Despite the fact that the part of Pittsburgh I’m in doesn’t have a subway system, which, as we all know, is a mark of an undeveloped, even barbaric, piece of wilderness, I daresay Pittsburgh is respectable.
This is where people think of when you mention CMU. It has great classical-ish-looking buildings, a reasonable amount of food, and cars moving at maybe 10 – 20 miles an hour as in any area with signs of human life. About every CMU building is there, as one would reasonably expect.
This is where the ETC actually is. Cast off from the rest of civilisation, separated from humanity by five roads of cars, trucks, lorries, insert term for huge vehicle, going at 45, 50 miles an hour, ETC is flanked by Techs Industries, Ansaldo STS USA, and Braskem. Yes, we have “Technology” in our name, but, uh, did anyone tell whoever plonked us here that we don’t have manufacturing processes involving hammering steel sheets or processing petrochemicals or even processing anything physical at all?? Except maybe the occasional wooden rocking horse?
“Ok, I found it on the map. What’s the big hoohah about finding it?” Wrong again, my skeptical reader. If unguided, you might figure that the shortest way from point A to point B is a straight line, or, in this case, as far as a straight line can go across the white paths:
Most logical path if you get off on fifth avenue, right?? Well this is what happens if you try. First you get onto the bridge, which is that vertical line, which is called Birmingham bridge:
And then you walk:
And walk and walk and walk and HEY why is Google telling you that you’re past that convenient right-angled turn you planned so brilliantly for yourself?
This is where I come in, as your personal guide! With step by step instructions on how to walk! Discovering thrills along the way to my magical school:
Well you do have an alternative to feeling the majesty of the universe:
And there it is, the mystery of how to find ETC! This is a secret not known to many, including Uber drivers who have driven to main campus and were utterly stumped by our absence. It’s as magical as Hogwarts! It’s like Diagon Alley without the shops! It’s like Sirius Black’s house! It’s like, it’s like, it’s like the Quidditch World Cup site! What seems to be rubbish to muggles contains worlds beyond your imagination!
Like this one of a psycho killer. I didn’t make this. Some other group did.